So I come to see nobody looks at my posts! xD So it’s just like I’m talking to myself. Lol. Which I don’t mind! I was just hoping people would read up on me. But it’s okay!(:
This is so cute! I wish to get this someday<3
Lately we’ve been fighting alot. And he seems to think it’s my fault. Who knows, maybe it is? I have been hormonal (not prego). But we mostly seem to be fighting over HIM staying inside. I’m not keeping you locked up in my house? Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean YOU can’t go out. You want to leave? then leave. I’m not stopping you. I don’t have locks on the doors and bars on the windows? You don’t like to be inside? That’s fine, then go outside with your friends. Excuse me for not having any like you. Pardon me for having nobody to hangout with like you. I’m just in so much of the wrong because I have no friends who want to hangout with me, like you.
Children look at the world with bright and innocent eyes. Whatever happened to us? They see nothing but opportunity, fun, and friends. Nobody has done anything wrong in their eyes. It isn’t till later in their age when they start to realize everything is disrupted. I wanted to be a pretty little ballerina. But I never had the money to pursue it. Oh how I wanted it, I wish I would’ve if I could have.
Sooooo ever since my mom paid for modeling classes, he’s been making me feel really crappy. Making me breakout in stress bumps and stuff. Making me more stressed! What am I to do??? I’ve been eating very crappy cause I don’t really like coming out of my room while he’s home. I think he knows I don’t like him too well anymore. And if he does, good! You shouldn’t make a teenager feel crappy about themselves. Jerk!
I will most likely become a late night blogger :3 Why you ask? …You didn’t ask? Well I’ll tell you anyways. Because this is when I can be the most open. Or more of, I won’t have anybody looking over my shoulder trying to look at my screen whilst I’m typing -_-” Don’t you hate that? You’re just minding your own business, typing away at whatever. And then BAM! Someone(one of your friends I’m assuming, or your mother) just peers over your shoulder at the screen/monitor. It gives me an uncomfortable feeling, and then my mind becomes blank of what I was going to type. In turn making me type something else. Only to remember what I originally was going to type hours later. Sucks.
I like to be bad. I LOVE to cause emotional pain to those who love me. I’m a drama queen, I love to be a bittersweet love. I like having makeups caused by silly fights. Doesn’t seem that bad right? Well I am. I’m the type of once I’ve cheated, it’ll happen again. With the same person, do mind you. But I just don’t know why I’m like that. Even if I don’t want to, I end up doing it. Is there a screw loose? Obviously there must be, right?
I hear the screaming inside, muffled by your tears. Where your heart should lie, but is now nowhere. Oh how your soul aches, it REEKS of what it wants to scream. You silence all the yelling within, when you should just let it out. Let it flow like the fluids coming from your eyes, down your jaw. Dropping from your chin to where your heart is supposed to be. You never wanted to be this way; you never wanted to be a monster. You fight, and break, and fall. When will you stop? I lost the old you; I lost the old me.